Sometimes I come across a newspaper article, blog post or op ed piece that makes me paranoid about the possibility that other people are reading my thoughts because they’ve written exactly what I’ve been thinking. I am in complete agreement with author Timothy Hallinan’s need for insurance that pays out whenever the insured has to suffer one of life’s myriad of minor irritations. As someone who seems to pay an astonishing amount of money each month for insurances that I never use I adore the idea of a scheme that I would be able to make claims against (and before you start, yes I am very grateful that my house, health, income, car etc. are all pottering along nicely without the need of insurance).
I could add considerably to the excellent list provided by Mr Hallinan but will pick just three extra items that I would like to be insured against:
- Being coughed on by a fellow commuter. Honestly I don’t mind using public transport if it will save the planet from environmental disaster but is it really too much to ask that people cover their damned mouths when they’re coughing up a lung on the morning commute? $9.53
- Being forced to listen to talk-back radio of any political persuasion. I regularly have to catch cabs during the work day and the driver always seems to be listening to loud talk-back radio where somebody is shouting about the ruination of our country/world by illegal immigrants/drug addicts/single mothers/greenies/some one else to hate. It’s tiresome. $7.27
- Seeing anyone wearing a lycra cycling outfit when they are not currently competing in the Tour de France. I’m all for exercise and strongly in favour of transportation that might save the planet from complete collapse under the weight of our collective self-absorption, but I don’t understand why I should have to walk with my eyes forever downcast for fear of seeing a 50-year old bloke wearing Lycra that shows off all the wrong bulging bits. $3.52
Enough. The article made me laugh which is always much-needed. As did the one book of Tim Hallinan’s that I’ve read (so far, I do plan to read more).